Re-Setting Your Inner GPS in this Global Crisis

Baba Ram Dass wrote in his book, How can I help?, that you only ever help yourself. As a psychologist I’ve been ‘helping’ people for quite a while now– and I know how much of what I learned about human suffering I have been able to apply to the suffering being in me.

Truth is I’ve always been a big advocate of the idea that helping begins at home, but Ram Dass imbedded that message more deeply in my center. I have been a major mess at different moments in my life, but probably mostly so in times when I didn’t even know it. Whether it was the ‘arrogance of youth’ or the ‘sanctimoniousness’ of someone dedicated to serving others or some other inner game, I don’t know — and I really don’t care much anymore.

I do know that if I don’t do my homework, whatever I do for others will be so powered down or even misguided that I best go fishing rather than to the office. So, I mostly do my homework. I have my practices. I read, I practice being my helper self, I go to workshops, I do my aikido and sometimes my yoga, and of course I meditate. In my own way, I pray — a lot these days.

Practices help me in the best and worst of times. I am glad I built them into my operating system.

I caution myself when I am working with someone else’s stuff not to be preachy — like the former smoker. I know everyone has to find their own way. True and not true. There’s only so much stuff out there that works for us beings.

I was talking to a dear friend the other day. She does lots of training on resiliency. I needed some super great knock it out of the park ideas because I was doing a webinar on Self-Coaching in a Time of Global Crisis and I wanted to be WOW. Yeah, I’m still working on the ego-thing.

She said to my great disappointment, ‘you already know this stuff — it’s just the basics, you know — eat well, exercise, get sleep, meditate if you can make that happen, and stay in touch with your ________ (fill in the blank — grandma, parents, friends, kids, etc.).’ I said, “That’s it!” She said, “Yeah!”

[Expletive] …. I needed something… there had to be something … but I guess I had to work for it. True, I’ve been around. I did the 60s, 70s, and you can figure the rest. I hung with some of the folks who created the “Human Potential Movement.” [JG1]

I had a headful of ideas from my decades or practice, but I still felt a bit up against the wall. I needed to be brilliant — no pressure, it was just that superego guy reminding me that I suck unless I’m great (of course, when I’m ‘great’, he says ‘not bad — could have been better’). Okay, I don’t really pay that much attention to him anymore, but I still wanted to have something good.

As much as I am a luddite, I’m pretty agile working around the web and researching stuff. I didn’t want to reinvent the wheel and I knew that, in many ways, there’s nothing new under the sun. After lots of looking and reflecting, I gravitated toward some ideas that I have known for quite some time. A kind of comfort zone, but more than that.

What I haven’t told you yet is that I shifted my practice a couple decades ago from the doctor-patient kind of helping to coach-client work. Why? It actually fit me better. Most of my career I’ve believed in my bones that we are all suffering beings — and that we all ‘get by with a little help from our friends.’ I didn’t like the idea of attaching medical labels to the kinds of inner turbulence people experience — I was more focused on Ram Dass’s question, how can I help?

In the coaching world, the idea is to get out of the client’s way and let their inner wisdom come forth. There’s more to it than that, but the basic idea is that I’m walking alongside someone on their journey rather than pushing them on their gurney. Sort of rhymes — not intentional — but cute.

So was the idea I came up with — RAVEN.

It’s an acronym, of course. Let me tell you about it. First, I have to say on the ‘nothing new under the sun’ angle that in my reading and in my practice, I have been deeply impressed by Tara Brach’s work on radical compassion and in a very different way by Otto Scharmer’s Theory U. One of the things Tara Brach came up with as a way of helping people get hold of internal noise, annoyance, agitation, anxiety, fear, etc. was an ‘acronymed’ process she called RAIN — recognize, allow, investigate, and nurture. I owe a good part of my thinking to her, but then there was Otto. This guy is changing the world big-time. An MIT economist who is probably the world’s most renowned social innovation leader, Otto Scharmer came up with a model for helping people move into the ‘emerging future’ in a way that allows them to shape or co-shape reality as it unfolds in future time.

Back to RAVEN. I wasn’t deliberately intending to create a bird acronym but my emerging future took me there. When I had all the letters and that gave me this big bird, I smiled. I knew a bit about ravens — they are very interesting birds, factually and mythologically speaking. They are smart, adaptable and, yes, empathetic. Indigenous citizens worship them as a deity and, in general, these birds are thought to be prophetic — bringing together the material with the immaterial or spiritual world.

So, all that was good because with my process of RAVEN, I wanted to help people bring together what’s going on outside in this global crisis with what’s happening inside in an empathic or, more accurately, a compassionate way.

RAVEN is a process to bring you into deep connection with all that’s going on for you in any given moment, and then to gain new perspectives of all this so you can figure out exactly what you need to do — for you and for others. Remember, helping you is helping others.

Let’s start. You might read each part of the process while sitting quietly with a pad and pen to jot down some of your thoughts.

R is for Recognize — Move inside to feel your inner space. Acknowledge what’s happening for you, not so much by dwelling on thoughts or feelings, but rather by noticing what’s up for you, what’s alive in this moment. You may feel calm or maybe you’re agitated. Your thoughts may be spinning or your mind may be blank. Most likely, if you decided to do this process, something is going on. There’s turmoil, disturbance, disequilibrium, dissatisfaction, and other upsetting stuff. Just get in touch with it — I mean, really let yourself know the fullness of what’s happening for you in this time, in this moment, in this disruptive unfolding of your world.

A is for Accept — As your awareness fills with all the elements of your experience — thoughts, feelings, sensations, accept them with open arms. Like picking up an upset child and holding that being lovingly in your arms, embrace all of you that is now awake with acceptance and compassion. If indeed you had a crying infant in your arms, you would likely soothe that being — cooing, singing, swaying, smiling, comforting. So, do that now as you hold you in your own arms.

V is for Vision — As you hold all that is arising within you, imagine yourself lifting out of your body, rising up to an altitude where you can not only see yourself now holding what you are holding but you have the capacity to see you the entirety of your life until now, appreciating all that you have experienced, all that you have accomplished, all that you have held and overcome at earlier periods of your existence. Recognize as you hover above yourself all the strengths and capacities that you have manifested in your life. Feel the resiliency you have had, especially in all those hard moments where you found your true grit. Staying at altitude, look ahead into the dreamland of your future as you emerge from all this that is now into a future created by your manifestation of strength and courage in this time. See, in the most enlightened way, how your life can transform into a way of even greater beauty and harmony. Experience this beauty and harmony as you look down on yourself in this moment holding the now of your experience. And then, one more thing. From this altitude or even moving much higher, look around to see the people in your world — family, friends, acquaintances — and people beyond those you know, far beyond — in neighboring areas, in neighboring nations all around the globe. Get a sense of what they are each holding and allow your strength and compassion to embrace them for a moment as part of your magnificent human community.

E is for Engage. Now, come back. With all you have experienced, with all you know about your indomitable nature, allow an answer to this question to rise up without undue thought: What do I most need to do right now?Right now means soon, and the doing is about what would serve you best in enhancing your resilience, in opening your heart, in fostering your capacity to be present rather than in a state of pointless worry or contingency planning for things you cannot predict. Experience the felt need that emerges in this moment for some kind of action. Know in your heart the truth of what it will serve in your life — and how it will serve others. We are a community. Be gentle with this awareness. Like the birth of a new being, allow it to open its eyes slowly, not rushing its arrival. And certainly not saying, No! I don’t want you right now. As this being takes shape in your welcoming presence, it may morph quite naturally in some unexpected ways. Resist trying to fit this new one into something already known and tried. Allow it to speak to you about what it wants to be and how you can join with it. As your movements soften to embrace and incorporate this new direction, this new way, this simple action, let it tell you what your next step will be.

N is for Nourish. Okay, wherever you are, whatever you have realized to this point, let it go — while fully knowing that you will retain whatever is important from this experience as part of your deep self-knowing. Let all of your thinking and reflecting relax into a simpler way of being. Breathe. Inhale — exhale. Repeat. And then again. As the rhythm of your breath lulls you into a place of openness and tranquility, take a moment to acknowledge yourself. Feel your courage. Feel your compassion. Feel all your strength and resilience. It is no easy task to open yourself to a deeper knowing of your inner world and to hold it all with awareness and care. Allow some time for yourself to bathe in all your magnificence, even if that isn’t a word you might commonly apply to yourself. Try it out. Let that word be you in this moment. Breathe some more — without thought. And when you are ready, take your hands to your face and hold your face for a moment before you rub it gently as if in awakening from sleep. It’s time to allow this experience to blend with the next in your emerging future.

Well, that’s RAVEN. I hope it serves what you need in this moment. And maybe you might want to come back to it again when what you are experiencing gets heavy or just too much to contain.

From my heart to yours.

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