On this set, I was with S. to set up all the lights. I sat down in the back and took this photo during the filming. Honestly, I am not going to work with [this director] again. He tends to stick to his idea so hard that other people suffer from it. He will even throw other people under the bus. For instance, we were watching some of his footage. He was unhappy with how his film turned out. In class, he said: “Well, it’s all because of the lighting.” I was the one doing lighting. So I was thinking: “What the hell does that mean?” He probably meant he didn’t have a good idea of what he wanted for lighting, or he could also have meant that I did a shitty job. But you can’t say stuff like that in class, because people will take it wrong. There are plenty of other people working on his film too.
The DOP decided to add a shot at the end of the day on the last day of shooting. We were in a store and the floor was wet. The DOP wanted us to walk fast with the lights and the camera, which is almost as expensive as a small home. I said “no” because it was dangerous. There could be an electrocution if someone pulled out the cables by accident. I had told the DOP about 25 times how dangerous it was. But the DOP wasn’t listening to me and wasn’t cooperating at all. Then I told the director: “Come and control your DOP.” I’m a gaffer underneath [him], I can’t tell a DOP what to do. Finally, he came over and told the DOP to kill that part of the lighting. But the DOP still ended up doing what he wanted. I walked out of that place because I was fed up. On that set, I found out that being a woman means you have to tell them like 50 times, and still they won’t necessarily listen to you. At first, I thought it was because the project took the upper hand. Then it happened again in other situations. I realized it was very much because I’m just a ‘girl.’ I didn’t know it at the time. While taking this photo, I was frustrated at not being listened to. S. and I were at the far back. We didn’t see anything. But we were doing a lot. All that lighting was the result of our work. We should have been standing by the men over there. But we were at the back.