Emotional rest
He was a lead actor in Z.’s film. We went to CEGEP together. So when I was taking behind-the-scenes photos for the set, I went to look for him. During a little break, I found him sleeping under the desk. He was exhausted. They were working 12 to 14 hours a day. For him, it was not just physically tiring but also emotionally draining because his role required him to kiss another man, and he was not particularly comfortable with that. This photo represents how terrifying a set can be. It can force you to go places where you don’t always feel comfortable. That can be very stressful. He needed to rest and reground himself.
Having fun on a set
There is this force on a film set: we are all in this together and are going to get through it. You lose a sense of time because in this microcosmic society, you are always with the same group of people. You don’t think: “It’s 2 o’clock,” or “It’s 3 o’clock.” You are all like: “What’s the next shot?” It’ll be done when it is done. It’s gratifying when you feel your work is valued, and you work in an environment where you can do the best you can. You feel a good kind of tiredness. Like a child, you play outside all day and come home exhausted. But it was fun.
I really liked operating the camera on D.’s shoot. On this set, the director, the DOP, and myself [the camera operator] were all women. This women-led set had a very good vibe. Even if we were tired, I really felt that I was in my place.
Making films,
making a life
The question of mental health isn’t often discussed in school. [In cinema], there isn’t a blueprint guide on how to make [independent films]. You really need to figure it out on your own. It’s not like it was 20 or 30 years ago, when making films was more elitist and reserved for a small number of people. Now you can make your film with an iPhone. It’s become so competitive. You compare yourself with others who seem to always be doing more projects and are always productive. It can be overwhelming when you are just starting out and want to m