'We need to talk more, not less, about suicide'

Yehudit Silverman is a professor in Concordia's Department of Creative Art Therapies. She produced the documentary The Hidden Face of Suicide. A version of this op-ed originally appeared in the Montreal Gazette.

Every 40 seconds, a life is lost to suicide. Around the world, between 20 million and 100 million people attempt suicide every year, and more than a million succeed. At this very moment, thousands of people are contemplating taking their own life to end the torment of depression, chronic pain, anxiety or unbearable shame.

As we mark World Suicide Prevention Day, it’s instructive to recall that suicide is the second-leading cause of death among teens, and a common cause of death among elderly people. And yet in spite of the magnitude of the problem, suicide remains entrapped in a culture of shame and taboo. As a result, it tends to be shrouded in silence. We have to end that silence.

There is a pervasive myth that talking about suicide encourages it. Media outlets have developed policies governing their coverage of suicides, based on this myth. And yet research, including my own, indicates we need to talk more, not less, about suicide. Let me explain.

A person contemplating suicide commonly feels disconnected and hopeless. One of the most important things we can do, when faced with someone who is struggling with severe depression, pain, anxiety or shame, is to ask them the question, simply and directly: “Are you contemplating suicide?”

Leading questions such as “You’re not suicidal, are you?” or “You’re not thinking of doing something crazy?” carry judgments, and signal that the questioner is reluctant to hear a truthful answer. Ending silence also involves listening openly.

If we are going to talk more about suicide, we also need to change the language surrounding suicide. The pervasive phrase “commit suicide” perpetuates the stigma of shame, through its subtle message that suicide is a moral crime.

Suicide is rarely mentioned at funerals, and it continues to be condemned by some religious authorities. The spouse or children of someone who died by suicide may find that friends, family or co-workers shun them in subtle but unmistakable ways, leaving them abandoned at a time when support and understanding are most desperately needed.

My documentary film The Hidden Face of Suicide recounts the experiences of these suicide survivors, through the telling and creative expression of their stories. After a recent screening, a woman in the audience stood up and said: “I’m 84 years old. My mother died by suicide when I was 24. For 60 years, I never spoke about it, until now. I was too ashamed.”

We can help to end that shame, and break that silence. We can promote a culture in which suicide is discussed in a comprehensive, honest and in-depth manner in the media, in doctor’s offices and even in our schools.

We’ve witnessed how public mobilization helped to change attitudes and laws with respect to drinking and driving, dangerous driving, domestic violence and homophobia. Now is the time to focus on the urgency to talk about suicide.

Among other things, we can recognize and explore the value of using creative-arts therapies both in preventing suicide and helping family and friends of people who have died by suicide come to terms with their loss, by offering pathways for expressing what is sometimes verbally inexpressible. They could become involved in prevention programs because they are the real “experts” — and their stories need to be told.

Do you need support? Find out more about mental health services available at Concordia.